I was reading this today and thinking about it. To be honest I am not sure how I can relate this to my work here in Kenya, but I can relate it to a work God is doing in my heart. For a short time (a month or so) I have really struggled with the lack of God's presence, and a general lack of being able to feel him, or have warm and fuzzy feelings towards him. It has bothered me so much, that it even brought some condemnation before I left for my trip to Kenya. I thought to myself, "how am I good enough for this work" I have so much weakness. I don't even feel God...how do I show God to others when I can not feel him. This.... combined with a real lack in the word (b/c of how busy I was with kids as a young mom, and my condemnation with not being able to feel GOD, made me feel completely unworthy. After I read this verse today it was encouraging to hear the apostle Paul, someone that I wrongfully idolize.....saying that he has not been already made perfect. He had not taken hold of what Christ took hold of for him.....YET. What encouraging words. That we are striving for the prize, not yet made perfect, but Christ is making us more perfect day by day. I am still completely unworthy of this work and I have a long ways to go. But, thanks be to God.....that he is still working on me, and that one day my body will be made like his.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Friday, September 30, 2011
To give you a proper visual, when we exited the truck there was excrement everywhere. The field was their bathroom. It was a really heart wrenching experience. You know that feeling when you want to sell all you have and give to the poor....well I had that there.Thursday, September 29, 2011
HERE WE ARE.....IN KENYA
Our first together photo in Kenya. It all seems a bit surreal....Jeremiah and I have always dreamed of going to Africa and here we are. Alot of different things have been going through my head. As most of you know, I am a external processor, but most recently I started becoming a bit more discreet in sharing....well that is going out the window on this trip. We want you to be able to tangibly experience as much of this trip as you can through our honest outlooks. I reallllllly miss my kids and it didn't strike me until I left them, that its highly probable that I love them even more than I love God. I started going to the new testament where God talks about loving him more than we love our mother, father or child....daily taking up our cross. I realized that I have so much of my identity wrapped up in being a mother. I am a mother to Isaiah, Hadassah and Saraiah. Most of my time goes to taking care of these little ones. I am doing HIS job taking care of them, but at the same time....after arriving here in Kenya...I started really grieving being away from them. I started to realize last night while lying in bed that this may be what God feels like when we are "away" from him. Sometimes we take a step back out of busyness, or condemnation, or spending our time doing other things....and often he is calling after us to just "BE" with us. How I long for my children is how God longs for us.....his children. It really put it into perspective for me. I hope that I do not return from this trip going back to my children as my first love, but learning the art of worship through being with them. Being grateful for every moment, instead of losing my mind, and loving God so much that I am willing to take up my cross. I am also realizing that it is so very easy in Grand Rapids to forget there everywhere in the world are people that do not know him. Here I am half way across the world to share Jesus, when I have people in my own back yard. I am guilty of thinking everyone in GR knows him, and they don't. So here is my outloud, hope you keep my accountable confession.....I want to be a follower that does what God has asked us to...and that is to "GO and preach the gospel"....at all times....in actions and in truth. Please pray for our next few days here as we travel to the slums and spend days hanging with the kids of Nairobi. That is would be fruitful and that God would lead us. Love you all.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
If you are reading this blog, you have been invited on the journey that has not yet begun, but we feel already in our hearts began about 3 months ago. We have been invited to Nairobi, Africa.......it may come as a surprise to you, but not to us. Since Jeremiah and I were little kids we both dreamed of Africa. In fact, as a child I often dreamed of getting married and adopting African children :) Maybe still a dream I hope to be fulfilled some day. Jeremiah always thought maybe somday God may call him to Africa. Until recently this was a pipedream. Nothing we thought would ever come to pass....... but our faith once again has been stretched. Aside from Jeremiahs best friend being from Nairobi, God continues to prove to us over and over that this is exactly where he wants us to be. Please pray for our 2 weeks there. For fruitful ministry, safety, protection, that hearts would be opened, and that God would continue to make it clear to us where he wants us. We are open to wherever God calls us. Please pray that we would be protected from the enemy. That our children and marriage would be protected and that we would come home being renewed. We will be updating as we travel. We will be doing leadership training, sports programs, and speaking in churches. Visiting orphanages, and slums and preaching the Gospel. We are pumped.
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